Chapter 17

Ethan

The lights in the prep room sputtered, making a high-pitched whine all the while, but there was nothing left in the budget to replace things the clients wouldn’t see. I’d used the last of the petty cash on the extortion payments to thegnomes. Those methed-out jackasses had a voice in all local government offices in Avriltonta now, the council, the police, weights and measures.

All roads lead back to the Gnoman Empire.

And now Nuria knew all about her parent’s debt. I expected her to run back to the city long before now, to want nothing more to do with this place. But here she was, sharing the load. The lights flickered in her straight black hair, jaw set as she rolled back on the corpse’s collar for embalming.

I didn’t know what to make of her. I expected her to hesitate, for those manicured hands to shake under the pressure of that 3 AM back alley martial arts fight with Tweaker Ricky, or all that espresso we drank this morning due to lost sleep. But she rolled up her sleeves and angled the glinting scalpel with textbook precision.

She was stunning. Perfection. For a moment, I couldn’t breathe.

“Where’d you learn to do a carotid incision like that?” I stepped closer, drawn in before I thought better.

Nuria’s shoulders stiffened. “Been doing this long before mortician night school.” She grabbed her forceps and leaned in. “I didn’t flunk out of med school because I couldn’t find a collarbone.”

“Mandibular fossa then? Those can be tricky.”

She didn’t look up to see my smile. She teased the artery free with her forceps, smooth and pale beneath the connective tissue, then lifted it just enough to slide the arterial tube into place.

“You don’t have to watch me so closely,” she whispered, her voice almost drowned out as she flicked on the aspirator.

“No—” My voice caught. I waited for her to turn. “Nuria. I do. You’re a master at this. That was… beautiful.”

Now she looked. Slowly. The resistance cracked just a little when she saw my face. I couldn’t mask my awe if I wanted to.

She took a deep breath before returning to her work. “I used to sneak into the prep room after swim practice and beg Mom to let me watch her work. Just cleaning tools at first. Then vein raising. Then…” She shrugged. “Everything. I guess it shouldn’t shock me that if they bent the rules that way, they’d get caught up with the Gnoman Empire’s… illegal supply chain.”

I didn’t have the energy to think about the Gnomes. From her shudder, neither did she.

“This was supposed to be a stepping stone,” she said, gaze drifting back to the body. “I wanted to be a trauma surgeon. Or maybe a podiatrist in a town with identical houses in neighborhoods named after trees, like Elmwood Circle or Oak Haven.” She closed her eyes with a smile. “It wouldn’t be like here. There’d be HOAs… and too few sidewalks.”

“You still could have that,” I said. “Leave me to handle the Gnomes. Leave this behind and have the life you want.”

She gave a hollow laugh. “I don’t think you understand.”

I paused, uncertain. “Your parents never told me anything—about why you left school.”

“No, they wouldn’t,” she said to the floor. “They were just as ashamed as I was.”

“I don’t think they were.”

“I had the grades. It was worse… I just didn’t have the… hands.”

She flexed hands that looked perfect to me. I blinked back at her.

“It’s my curse.”

“Your curse?”

“My hands… they’re too…cold.”

I wanted so much to touch them, to warm them through the slippery surgical gloves. But I couldn’t presume. Also, we were low on gloves.

“I can’t control it,” she continued, “Sometimes the power just slips out, and… I made a kid cry once. He needed a heating pad and a blanket. He called me an… ice witch. And that’s what I am.”

I winced.

“It’s not true, Nuria.”

“Of course not,” she said, standing straighter. “A witch would be able to control it.”

“So learn to control it.”

“I’ve tried, Ethan. I’ve tried everything.” she said, leaning back against the metal counter. “I’d be fine for a week, a month, and then boom—someone loses all body heat and looks like they’re in rigor mortis. Doesn’t kill them, but it sure looks like it. Not great for bedside manner. Takes hours to wear off.”

My heart broke for her. “Nuria…”

“I’ve tried to find the pattern,” she said, turning away to check settings on the aspirator. “I go cold when I’m overwhelmed, or scared, or tired. Angry. I was angry a lot. Or it would happen when…when I want something I’m not allowed to want.” Her mouth tightened, staring up at me, and I wasn’t sure what I saw in her face.

I was just grateful she was looking at me at all.

I stepped closer. “You need to stop thinking of it as a curse. It’s not.”

She glanced up, guarded, but that was better than the icy glare I was used to.

“Ethan…”

“I mean it,” I said. “It’s not a curse. It’s power. And I think you’re stronger than you know.”